No'
by rainswings
Summary: All the turtles and their father have been captured by someone called "The Man With All the Answers". They meet a mysterious girl, who doesn't have all the answers, but might just have enough. Warning: this IS a death-fic, and it's not a one shot.
1. In Which Slips of Paper are Handed Out

**warning: This IS a death-fic, and it's more than a one shot. I'm building a little plot before the fated death of a character or possibly more. sadly, I don't own TMNT. Have fun -or not- reading.**

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*Leo's POV*

My brothers, father, and I have been taken by someone who is called "The Man with the Answers". What we know is that he thinks of us as a question, and that a vivisection will bring the answer. We've all been drugged and chained, stripped of everything but our bandanas, Master Splinter getting to keep his kimono, and treated like common criminals. We are forced down an institutional-looking hallway, with burningly white walls, and the same shade of white doors with hand scanners rather than knobs. Finally we reach one room that the man who leads us affectionately calls the "Prep for Hell" room, and he pushes us in and locks the door. The walls are padded and white, ceiling high, no windows, but thankfully a light. It's slightly dimmer than in the hallway, less painful, but unnerving all the same. It's not a big room, maybe 7 by 7 square feet, but it's bigger than we expected. The door is on the left side, right on the corner, and in the only corner we didn't immediately see sits a silent human girl, sitting in the fetal position, hugging her white long pants close to her white shirt and pale body, and fearfully eyeing us. She has blonde hair, I doubt naturally so, and the only slightly dark things in the room apart from us are her deep brown eyes and black collar with a gold tag on it. We go to the center of the room quietly, and Master Splinter speaks to the girl slowly, carefully. "Do not be shy, we will not hurt you." She shakes her head with a sad smile on her face and stands. She looks about our age, maybe a little younger. Master Splinter continues. "I am Master Splinter and these are my sons, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo." He points to each of us in turn. "And you are?" She smiles politely and shakes her head no. Master Splinter frowns. "Do you understand me? Do you know what I said?" She nods quickly. Master Splinter tries again. "What is your name then?" Again we get the shake of her head no for an answer.

Confused and frustrated, Master Splinter stops trying to get her to answer, but Mikey speaks to her as if nothing is out of the ordinary, and for how much calmer she seems, maybe nothing is. "Okay then, No, why are you here?" He gets her to give a full smile and a silent laugh, but immediately she gets serious and pantomimes getting cut open. She pretends to pull the skin back from her lean body, then fakes a curious face as she stares at an invisible organ in her hand she pulled out from inside herself. Dropping the act she looks at us with a clear question on her face, one that says, 'get it?' Mikey assures what he thinks she says, but does so in disbelief. "So they vivisect you?" She nods like it's nothing out of the ordinary. As proof she lifts her shirt lightly to show the long, thin scar along her unnaturally thin middle.

"Oh shell," Donny murmurs, worry on his face. Master Splinter looks simply sad, Mikey looks terrified and a little shocked, and though Raph seems unfazed I know on the inside he's as surprised as I am. Donny speaks slowly, each word careful. "This- it's happened more than once?" She nods affirmation. "How many times?" She seems pensive a moment, then holds up both hands with all fingers spread out, closes her hands, then opens them again with all ten fingers spread out, then closes and opens all but her thumb on her right hand, waving her pinkie up and down uncertainly. "Twenty-four times?" Donny gasps, but the rest of us are in silent amazement. She stops her pinkie when it's down, almost defensively, and he sighs in defeat. "Or twenty-three, I get it. Still… reasonably, you would only have to dissect something once." We mull this over a moment. Whoever vivisects her no longer does it for science. They do it to see her in pain. Donny keeps going. "They do this without anesthesia, don't they?" She nods slowly with a look of, 'well, duh,' on her face. Everyone in the room is stone silent as we try to process what we have just been told via nods and finger numbers. She turns and sits back in the corner, pulling a few somethings out of her pocket. She puts some back then turns to us. Handing each of us a slip of paper, I read mine. It says, in small, curly, fancy handwriting, 'A Confidant'. I look at her with curiosity, confused why she gave me the paper. It's a little smaller than her thumb; it's something that if someone hadn't read would easily pass off as nothing at all. Raph looks annoyed by his, Mikey simply smiles at the slip, Donny looks puzzled by the words on the piece of paper he holds, and Master Splinter smiles softly at his. For some reason, they feel private, special, and something tells me each is different. It's weird, but it seems that with five pieces of paper she has shut us all up temporarily as we think about what is written on each of ours. Or at least, I try to keep figuring it out, but I'm tired. I've been up for two days straight, and I need sleep.

*Master Splinter's POV*

My sons puzzle over their papers, reading and rereading them, as if they might have missed something the first time around. In neat handwriting, mine says simply, 'Hope' in the bottom right hand corner, as if more was to be put before it. The word strikes me deeply, and I'm surprised one so young could be thoughtful enough to make an old rat ponder over a single word. Why did she choose to write Hope? I feel that the message for each of my sons is different, but understand by how careful she seemed while handing them out that it would be rude to press to find out what the other messages were. The drugs we were given are probably to knock us out, and for how tired I am, they work well.

*Raph's POV*

I'm insulted. Some freaky girl in all white won't say a word then hands each of us a piece of paper. Everyone else is either happy about what's written there or confused, but she simply annoyed me. Mine says, of all things, 'A Shoulder to Cry On'. _What the shell?_ Does she think I'm some weakling crybaby or something? I reread mine, wishing desperately I had misread it and it said something different, but no. 'No' wrote exactly what I thought she did. I've never been more annoyed by being right. I'd love to get answers out of her, especially with violence for how angry I am at both her and the man who has captured us, but I'm too tired. Frankly, I just want to sleep.

*Mikey's POV*

I smiled at my slip. 'No' had written 'A Reason to Smile', and it seems wrong if I don't smile at that. I look to my brothers and father. Raph is frustrated as always, Master Splinter looks surprised, and Leo and Don look like they're reading into whatever's written there way too much. They're acting like rather than words on their papers, there are cryptic clues to some long forgotten and necessary knowledge. Whatever, I'm tired and don't really care what's written on theirs. For once, I don't feel like being a snoop.

*Donatello's POV*

I stare down at my paper in confusion. It simply reads 'Love'. I look for more writing, but that's all there is, one simple word. Love. Why? I don't get it. And who is this 'No' chick? Why was she vivisected in the first place, especially so many times? It just doesn't make sense, and nothing's clicking yet. I want to understand, but I can't. For once, I can't, and for how tired I am, I almost don't want to right now. I'd rather sleep. There's a loud beep and 'No' points to the light, and then counts down with her fingers, starting at ten. A matter of what I guess must have been ten seconds later, 'No' reaches zero and the lights go out. Her faint silhouette walks back to her corner and sits back down in the fetal position, just like when we met her. I guess it's time to go to sleep, and I'm thankful as we all settle down and doze off.

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**Love it? Hate it? Say it! Tell me what you think. If someone Reviews, Favorites, and Alerts this, my promise (as in all stories I will ever write on here) still stands: I WILL yell "I love you (Your penname OR a name of yur choosing)" From the top of a tree. If I get weird stares from neighbor people because I yell that I love lots of people, I will be happy, and probably embarrassed. Even if you don't like my writing at all, Favorite, Alert, and Review just so that I feel awkward and you can laugh.**


	2. Master Splinter

**Master Splinter**

*Master Splinter's POV*

'No' walked back to her corner and my sons have settled down to sleep. I think about my troubles deeply. 'No' has been troubled with the pain of vivisection many times, and I have dealt with it once. When I was only a rat, my master was gone about a week and asked a child next door to take care of me while he was away. Both the child and his father were very dark people, and the child brought me to his father and cried, "Daddy, daddy! Take apart this rat; I wanna see how he's alive!" The father took me, and I saw a malevolent glint in his eye.

"Now now, son, if I take it apart so we can see how it works you must tell nobody. Understood?" Even before the child began to nod the father had begun to take out his tools of torture. Finally they had cut me open, destroyed me. There was nothing to numb the pain, and their laughs still haunt my nightmares. Luckily, I healed physically afterward, but they made me distrust many, and made me try to be the best father I could. What really worries me though is not the pain it could cause, but how it could affect my sons. 'No' is probably not born mute, but has gone mute by choice. And the empty look in her eyes, as if she has rid herself of a soul so she could hurt no more… I couldn't let it happen to my sons. I know firsthand the terror it brings, and if that were to be given to any of my beloved sons… No. I cannot let that happen. I know we cannot escape from here alive, without being vivisected. Maybe it is best if my sons do not live to go through that hell. How she acts about vivisections, as if they are nothing to worry about, nothing out of the ordinary, troubles me. If that were to happen to my sons, if they were to become empty bodies that simply do anyone's bidding… I must do what I can to stop that from happening. Maybe it would be best if I ended their lives, so they could not feel that pain. Maybe I should find a way to take their lives quickly and painlessly, rather than have them suffer through this hell. I am interrupted from my thoughts with a tap on my shoulder. I whip around, ready to fight, but calm when I see it is only 'No'.

"What is it child?" I ask quietly, and she settles down and looks me in the eyes. There's a faint light in here, I don't know where it comes from, but it makes her eyes twinkle a little, like she's been crying. I ask a question that's been on my mind a little while. "Are you mute?" Her shadow gives the 'sort of' hand signal, and I fix my question. "Are you mute by choice?" She nods vigorously. "Okay then. What is it that's wrong?" She looks at me again, dead in the eyes, points to my sons, then looks back at me and draws her finger across her throat, as if she had read my mind. She then shakes her head violently, and the message is clear to me. _Don't kill them._ "How did you…?" I ask her in wonder, surprised she had seemingly known my thoughts. She gives a smile and taps her head, saying _I'm no idiot. I think too. _She then looks for something and mimes pulling the papers out of her pocket earlier. In understanding, I pull out the slip of paper she had given me, and she takes, it, looks into my eyes, and points at it again. _Hope._ She's telling me to hope. I nod in understanding, and am surprised to be given a hug. It's like she's reminding me one last time, wanting me to promise I won't give up hope. She breaks the hug and gives me an expectant look. She _is_ looking for that promise. "I will always hope." I say to her. This calms whatever fears she had, and she quickly mimes sleep and goes back to her corner.

I lay down again as well. I should hope, for I have now made a promise to always hope. Feeling like a weight as been lifted, I finally let sleep engulf me.

*Leo's POV*

I wake to someone poking me on the arm. I whip up, ready to kill, but see that, rather than some enemy, it is only 'No'. "Hey No," I mumble. She smiles in the dark and goes on to wake my brothers and father with the same poke.

"What is it?" Mikey asks tiredly, and she pretends to shield her eyes from a blinding light, then counts down on her fingers from five. At zero the light in the room comes on, and we all quickly mimic her in hiding our eyes from the bright light. We all adjust to the brightness and she points at the door. We hear footsteps, and a flap we didn't notice earlier opens up and brings us some breakfast. 'No' Promises it's edible by taking a few bites and nodding, and soon we all calm and eat quietly. Mikey starts to joke around and gets us all laughing, including 'No', who has a light laugh. Eventually Donny enters the little world inside his head, no doubt trying to figure a way out of this hell. Raph's already looking like he's ready to murder Mikey for any reason he's given, but we all know –even Raph does- that we can't fight right now, we need to try to stay together. The day does on rather blandly, but I guess we're very lucky, for when a dinner comes 'No' is quite surprised. We all relax and begin to tell her what we've done, and with her eyes wide as saucers through our stories, it's a great change from the usual. After we tell finish telling her about our first meeting with the Shredder, there's the beep and she counts down again, counting away the seconds to darkness.

How few there seem to be of those nowadays.


	3. leonardo

**Hello there! whether or not you believe it, I'm still around and writing, so... here I am! The next chapter of 'No' is here for your entertainment.**

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**Leonardo**

*Leo's POV*

My brothers quickly lay down, using the padded walls as head rests. Once my younger brothers are completely asleep, along with my father, 'No' pads up to them on her silent feet and pulls their heads away from the walls, trying to turn them around. I stop her, confused. "What're you doing?" I ask her. In response she puts her head to the wall, pretends to sleep, then jolts herself 'awake' and rubs her head like it hurts. I'm guessing the wall shocks those inside awake, so I help her turn my younger brothers so their feet touch the wall. I'm glad none of us thought to use the wall as a pillow earlier. I look at her as we turn Raphael last, and we are the only ones awake. She seems satisfied with her work, but a little worried. "What is it?" I ask her, and she turns to me, eyes wide and caring. With a thin finger she points to me. In surprise I ask her, "me? Is there something wrong with me?" I find myself a little insulted, but she quickly amends what she said. She points to me again, then sits with her back pressed to the wall and looks on the verge of tears. After a moment she switches back to pointing at me.

"You think I'm sad about something?" She nods vigorously, and tough I wish to laugh it off, _should_ laugh it off, something about her keeps me from putting up my fearless front. Instead, I rest against the wall and find myself unloading the secret that had been bothering me. "I'm not sad. Sad is too simple a word for what I feel." She mimics me, resting against the wall, but her eyes surprise me, they look at me as if they can read me like an open book, and I faintly wonder that it's even possible to get a lie to slip past her. I keep explaining. "What I mean is, sad isn't deep enough, strong enough, to explain it. Honestly, I'm terrified. I don't know what the man with the answers plans for my brothers and I to deal with, but it can't be any good. I'm terrified I won't be able to protect my family. I'm terrified one of us might get hurt or killed because I can't protect us." I turn to her to find a tear in her eye and her hand rubbing m shell. I'm surprised, but the comfort that comes from the touch stops me from pulling away. "I don't know what I would do if something happened to one of my brothers or my father and I couldn't help them, couldn't stop it." She smiles weakly and hugs me gently, and I can almost hear her saying, 'it's all right, it's gonna be all right.' She looks at me and gives a soft smile, then mimes pulling out the papers a few days ago. I catch on and give her the one she had given me. She hugs me again, tucks the paper away, then hides into her corner, awaiting the new day with the rest of us.

She was telling the truth about the real wakeup call being a shock, because right before the light comes on a jolt is sent through each of our bodies, putting us all on high alert. We relax when she does, and when she sees the food and skitters towards it, everyone digs into the mash we are given. We tell her more about our lives, and tell more and more fond memories of youth when we see how much those stories of youth seem to make her happy. Frankly, we all find that those stories of being young make us almost forget where we really are. I guess it's hard to care about the close walls when you're remembering your first time seeing how big the world is.

The walls have quickly begun to affect us. Mikey's going stir-crazy, and as a result Raph's on the verge of murder. Though those things aren't new, they can't be fixed. Donny's begun to twitch, master splinter's losing his patience, and I'm feeling the walls wearing me down too. The only person who shows no difference is 'No', and that's probably because she's used to having no space, no privacy, no room to run. Finally there's a buzz, and we're all too glad to settle down for the darkness, whether or not it's actually night.

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**Review, favorite, and alert! You know the drill, if you do all three I will yell I love you (insert name of choice) from the top of a tree, so do it!**


	4. Raphael

**Raphael**

My brothers and father fall asleep quickly, but I remain awake, watching over my tired family. I'd love to get a little private time with "The Man with the Answers" and let him know what my fists think of him. He's destroying my family so quickly. It doesn't seem like it, but I'm no idiot. I can feel us all drifting apart into our minds, each of us separately locked away in our worlds of hell. We're stuck in an unchanging routine, and we've all quickly accepted the numb feeling of defeat. It just doesn't seem right. We never gave up before, so why do we all do just that now? I'm surprised my constantly thinking younger brother hasn't gone psychological and tried to figure it out yet. At least Master Splinter and Leo make sense, half the time they're both meditating, probably trying to find a way out of this. I hate to admit it, but I'm a bit worried for my youngest brother. What if "The Man with the Answers" Decides he should hurt Mikey? I wouldn't be able to protect him. I throw my fist into the air, making a jab at empty space. When said fist connects with skin I search for what I've hit, only to find no looking at me with a tired smile. "What is it?" I ask gruffly, and when she points to me I want to send my fist flying at her again. "What're you playing at?" I growl, surprised and angrier when she points at me, then fakes a tear sliding down her cheek. "why you little…" I do throw another punch her way, which she doesn't even try to dodge. I hit her full force, and though her body reels back she looks unfazed. She gets back up and looks at me a moment, head cocked to the side. Reaching her hand in front of her, she gives the 'come on' signal with her hands. She's insane. She's saying she thinks I should hit her again? "You a masochist?" She shakes her head with a silent laugh and points at me again, feigning anger, then breaking down. She thinks that the moment I've used up my anger I'll be sad? No way. For one, I'll always have anger to spare, and second, I'm not some wimp who cries, especially in front of some girl. When she sees that I don't hit her again she gives me the lightest punch on the shoulder, like a reminder that she thinks it's a good idea to let my anger out on her. I give her one more good hit in the stomach, and when she goes down I help her up. Most anybody would be crying because of how hard I hit her, but it's like she simply shrugged off the pain. She looks deep into my eyes, and I feel like there's a presence inside of me that's not mine, and I feel sorrows I've buried years ago begin to resurface. She looks at me, pain in her eyes, as if she feels the emotions that I killed long ago. Her eyes begin to water, and I don't understand, but I feel my own eyes begin to do the same. She's makin' me cry. How does this work? "What's with you 'No'? How'd you do this?" I ask it through a tight throat, trying to hold back the first tears in forever. She gives me a soft smile, and all the tiredness I've felt over the past years, all the worry and stress, begins to pour out in tears that run down my face. She holds out my arms, and like some weak little kid, I fall into her comforting embrace as she sits there like a rock, strong and unmoving. I can't remember ever feelin' this helpless. What's going on with me? Is there something wrong with me? I can't remember the last time I shed a tear, and now I'm freakin' crying like a wimp, to a girl no less! I hit her, she doesn't make a sound, I end up cryin' on her shoulder. That just doesn't make sense. And she's cryin' too. I can feel her breath hitch and jolt about, unable to stay stable. But she remains strong, holding both of us up. After a while, I feel my tears stop, and she slowly moves away from me. Uncomprehendingly I watch as she wipes a few stray tears from her face and mine. She gives a smile, then pulls out one of the slips she had given us that first day. What? For a moment I sit dumbly, tryin' to figure out what she's meanin. Finally I remember my own and hand it to her, which she takes and places back in her pocket, returning to her corner without a word. I lay down, more tired than I've been even after the longest fights. There's somethin' about that girl, she gets to all of us. She's like what I think a sister would be. Maybe if we get out of this alive she can stay with us. Like family.

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**Alright so Raph may seem anywhere from OOC to terribly unlike himself, but I had lots of trouble getting this chapter to work. Anyways, this is proof I'm still alive! Read, rate and review.**


	5. Michelangelo

**Michelangelo**

*Michelangelo*

Morning's come, according to the lights and electric shock through my feet yet again. As I look to my waking family and the silent girl that's becoming a part of it, I realize something strange and disturbing. There's a certain emptiness in us today that wasn't there before, as if some of the spirit has been taken out of us. When we should be getting breakfast none comes, and this seems to trouble No quite a bit. Immediately she's pacing about the room, fretting over something. The lack of food bothers me a lot too, as the one of the main sources of my happy attitude was food. Though she seems quite absorbed in her little world and doesn't come out when my brothers remind her that there will be more food. When they do, she just shakes her head, indicating she knows more than they do. Her stress weighs heavily on me, and soon I'm sitting as she had, waiting for the something bad to come. After a minute she seems to notice me, and is quickly by my side, my other brothers and father clearly blocked out of her mind at the moment. Her eyes are wide and questioning, peering into me and boring holes into my soul. Sadness appears onto her face, a painful look to see. Her hand rests gently on my shell and she makes a small, tentative smile. I do my best to copy her, and this seems to make her feel better. We rise from the ground together and she looks at the walls, smiling wide. She backs up from it for a moment, then looks at me with mischief in her eyes. No runs at the wall, leaping into the air and bouncing off the cushioned walls. She looks back to me, a challenge in the way she looks at me. I smile back at her, feeling my excitement at a challenge return, and back up less than she did, jumping higher than she had, and landing right next to No. "Bring it on, No," I say, and her smile is bright and deadly, and very sweet. It's the smile I imagine a sister of mine would have.

She runs at the wall from where she is, climbing up the wall with her feet upon reaching it, and going a good seven feet into the air towards the fifteen foot high ceiling, jumping off and landing next to me. I can't hide my surprise. I thought she was just some tortured chick we got roomed with, not some boss. Still, I use my ninja skills to just beat her, landing farther than she. Fire glints in her eyes as no runs at the wall and pushes off with all her might, sailing to the other wall and flipping off of it to land next to me. There is a stunned silence in the room as we stare at No in surprise. Finally I copy her, and before I know it, Raph's with us, joining in on the challenge. After a few minutes Donny joins, clearly needing to move a bit too. Soon Leo joins, mumbling something about training.

Time passes quickly and before we know it there's the beep that states there's ten seconds to "night". My brothers, practically adopted sister, and I stop bouncing around and find places to sleep along with our father. After the lights go out, I see No's silhouette crawl up to me in the dark. Her eyes seem to almost glow in the darkness, illuminating her face and clothes. Her smile is soft and the faint red on her cheeks from all the movement is warm as she watches me. Quietly, I whisper, "Thanks No." She hugs me softly, as if to say "it's nothing" then proceeds to pretend to pull out the slips of paper from so long ago. I hand her mine hesitantly and she takes it, nodding and leaving me alone in the darkness yet again. I quickly lay down again, succumbing to tiredness. My stomach growls disagreeably at the lack of food, but I force it to shut up and let me sleep this much needed sleep.

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**I know it's short even for the brother chapters, but it's a tradeoff for the long final chapter I'm planning (if it ever comes to fruition XD) which will be a songfic chapter to a song by the lovely musician Jonathan Coulton! I'm excited, are you?**

**Also, for those who believe I died during the long hiatus in which I seemed to not exist, I did not. I just have trouble remembering to upload my stories. Or write them.**

**Please, please, rant rave and review! I love people who talk to me about my writing, so I know what to keep up and what to change.**


	6. Escape

**So, my first finished story! I'm quite proud, are you? The song is called "When you Go" by Jonathan Coulton, as promised. I suggest you listen to the song enough that you get it (probably only once is necessarry) read the story, then listen and gloss ovet the story because the lyrics move much faster than the words do. I hope you like the end to No, a deathfic by me, RainsWings.**

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**An Escape**

*No*

Electricity wakes me and my boys, and light showers us soon after, bathing us in knowledge-bringing brightness. As I realize the foods not coming, I get quite worried. The last thing I want is for them to be vivisected, after all the work I've done to try to bring their spirits up. With a start I realize to save them I'm going to have to fight back. I planned my rebellion for a long time, but with these five, I have a reason. I have power.

Donatello tries to talk to me, trying to get me to explain what's wrong. Quickly I zone out to the lulling sound of his voice, daydreaming of the few days ago when I realized I was no longer alone.

_Only a moment ago we had nothing but time_

I could've sworn the days were longer. His talking to me, explaining his history, it seemed to make time stop.

_Everything lasted forever and you were all mine_

I guess I sorta had a crush on him from the start. But he's an anthropomorphic turtle, and I don't think crossing species is a good idea. Still, it was nice to listen, but now that I think he's in danger, along with his brothers that feel like brothers to me, I realize I should have spoken. Explained that I was vivisected so I would be afraid to speak about anything I had seen, on the threat I would be hurt again. I need to protect them, I need to help them leave this hell safely.

_Only a dream I know, thinking you'd never go_

I hear the whir of the door getting ready to unlock in the real world and drag myself back, signaling their silence and standing next to the door. When it opens I throw a punch at the man who brought them in in the first place. He grabs my fist before it hits him. He twists my arm painfully, but I don't mind. I'm going to beat him, and I'll do it to protect them. Even if it kills me.

_Tearing off pieces of myself just for the time it buys me._

I punch at him with my free fist, getting him to capture it foolishly. I kick him hard in the stomach, and the unblocked hit sends him kneeling down. I kick him in the head and he's out, stone cold. A piece of me wants to say, "let's go", but the rest screams against speech, so I simply signal for them to follow me out. I think we're all surprised by the lack of audible alarms, but we shrug it off Donatello smiles at me kindly, thankfully, but it hurts to see. I can recognize almost instantly that it's the smile he'd give to a friend, not someone he'd like.

_Fold my heart up small_

Suddenly more scientists flood the room, but Donny, his brothers, and his father are quick to kick butt, but I can see the cuts and bruises that appear on them, and they hurt me too.

_Or break it into pieces_

Soon the hallway is cleared, and I'm running to the room where the man with the answers is, having been here for almost a year and knowing the place like the scars on my stomach. I know what I've got to do, and though I'm scared, I can't back out now.

_Find somewhere and keep it there._

Slowly I take off my collar, the only thing that reminds me of my old life, and set it on the ground near a wall and in a conspicuous place, knowing the brothers and their father see my careful gestures. For a second I hold the dogtag, rubbing it between my fingers. I love this thing, it used to be my dog's, and when she dies and it killed me I inherited it. It's my only possession, and I love it.

_Take it when you go._

I turn to the family, fear clear in my eyes but not clouding my thoughts. I point to the door I'm about to enter, and say the first words I have in over a year. "Keep it closed." This is all I can manage, and it hurts to speak from a lack of practice. I open the door slowly and slip in to the office of grays, terrified beyond thought. There's the button to blow this room and all of its secrets up. I just need to mush it and wait one minute exactly. Donatello's on my mind again, and I try to get him away. This act is too dark for you.

_There in the frame of your face, in the cast of your eyes,_

*Donatello*

As No slipped into the room we're all stunned beyond belief. She spoke. And yet, those words seemed to hold so much dread for her, I feared what might be inside. The look on her face, it was so full of terror, yet it seemed she knew what she was afraid of and held no fear of it at the same time. A voice in the back of my head spoke. _You know exactly what's going to happen, and so does she._

_I saw this coming but still I am caught by surprise_

I try to quiet the voice with a soft shake of my head as my brothers and I make a body barricade for the door. All the voice does is get louder. _You know exactly what's going to happen._

_All of this time I knew_

I don't want this to be true. It can't be true. Bad things don't happen to good people, right?

_That I'd be losing you_

I guess… sometimes… they do. But that doesn't mean, I mean… I don't want that girl to… The voice interrupts me again._ She's going to die!_

_That doesn't mean that it's okay,_

As the voice gets louder and louder, chanting that No's going to die, I realize how wrong that is to me.

_That doesn't mean I'm ready._

I think… And I know it's wrong, but I think I had feelings for her. Sure, a human, but she seems so kind. She shouldn't die. I care about her too much, even if only as a sister.

_Fold my heart up small_

*No*

I only press the button after I find a working pen. The moment I push it, I'm scribbling more words onto those pieces of paper I gave the family. Thirty-three seconds left. The man with the answers is next to me, clearly terrified of death. As I'm dipping my hands into water from his sink, he tries the door to find it is held by his experiments. When he sees my wet hands, he says, "You know that won't save you."

_Or break it into pieces_

"I don't need it to." I answer triumphantly. I've beaten him now. "I'm saving others."

_Find somewhere and keep it there_

I look at the notes again. They're the only goodbye I have.

_Take it when you go_

"I could say more to them in the three words keep this closed than I could to you in three thousand." I pick up the notes, putting them in my hands so that they are cupped dry within my hands while the backs of my hands are dripping wet.

_When you go_

*Donatello*

There's a beeping noise out here, and as I look at the man who tried to exit, I realize the panic on his face and worry that she's set off a bomb. Something about her character tells me it's not out of the question.

_When you go…_

I don't want her to die. Please, ancestors, god, whatever's out there, don't let No die.

_Some things you always remember,_

*No*

Suddenly I'm in a flashback again. The way the family looked at me when they first saw me, that image is etched into my mind. The way Donatello smiled ever so faintly when he saw how shy I was.

_Some things you forget._

Then I realize I never gave them my name. I want to write it hastily on one of the notes, but with a start I realize something: I've forgotten my old name. I've become No.

_No way to make it up now,_

I know there are other test subjects in this place, and I know they're going to die. I wish I could help them, give them a last request. But I can't.

_No room for regret._

I wish I had spoken from the very beginning. I wish I had told Donatello exactly how I feel. I wish I hadn't been afraid and had rebelled earlier. Maybe they wouldn't have been captured then. But regrets wont help. Ten seconds left.

_That's no good for anyone,_

My eyes widen as I realize all the things I should've done, and I can feel the man with the answers laughing at me. We're both going to die, but who's ready for it?

_And so I come undone._

Tears stream down my face, but I force myself to speak a little more. "That family will survive. That's because, at the very core of their being," I give a hoarse bark of a laugh. "They're better than you." Zero seconds.

_Now I am less than what I was,_

I don't feel like I'm dead, but my body's already beginning to char, so I guess I'm about to be. Glancing to my hands which hold my last messages, I'm glad to see they remain intact and unburned. I'm amazed that worked.

_Whatever's left is yours now._

I hope they read these notes. They're all I am. Them and that dog tag.

_So fold my heart up small_

*Donatello*

The door explodes outwards, pushing us away and pushing the corpse of No through. I'm already beside her, a small piece of me wishing she was still alive, when my family is beside me. Master Splinter points out her hands, and it is with a heavy heart that I pry her dead hands from each other and reveal our notes, but altered. Master splinter picks up his and reads it aloud.

"When nothing is left, hope." His eyes are sad and he seems a little broken. "Such knowledge in such a young girl."

Leo picks his up next. "I am a confidant for you." He looks down a moment. "Even in death she listens to us."

Raph takes his turn after Leo. "I will always be a shoulder to cry on." He frowns, but it's not his normal angry scowl. "I ain't speakin' of that night, but alright."

Mikey takes his note from her next. "Living is a reason to smile." He gave a small smile. "I guess she's right, isn't she."

_Or break it into pieces,_

Mine was the only one left. Hesitantly I take it from her and read the slip aloud. "I love-" I stop and my voice cracks, but I force myself to try again. "I love you." My brothers and father look to me and I look away in sadness. Why? Why couldn't I have known sooner?

_Find somewhere and keep it there,_

I notice her collar is still there. The leather collar is burned, but as I look at the dog tag she loved so much that the writing was mostly worn off I notice that besides its hotness it's in perfect condition. I hold the collar a moment and bring it back to her body, wanting to give her back this last piece of herself.

_Take it when you go._

Before I can let go of the worn leather collar, however, No's voice comes to me. Such a lovely voice, if not a little underused. How much she could have used it. _Take my tag. Please take my dog tag. I want you to have a piece of me._ My eyes widen a little, but, obeying No's voice, I touch the tag. No longer is it molten hot as I would expect it to be, but it's now only warm to the touch, like a living body would be. I take it off the collar slowly and hold it in the palm of my hand, cupping it and protecting it from the world with my fingers. The image of her fighting comes to mind and I realize she didn't need to be protected, she wanted to protect. I unclasp the dog tag and, upon seeing master splinter walk from somewhere with our weapons, take my bo staff. Unwrapping the purple band, I put the tag onto the band and rewrap it, tying it off so the dog tag doesn't fall off. I hide the note with the dog tag, protecting the emotion from the harsh world we live in. I live in. She lived in. Without a word my brothers, father and I stand and head for the exit, clearly marked. It's night in the real world anyways, we'll be safe physically until we're home. And, with No with us in spirit, I think we'll be fine. Eventually.

* * *

**So what do you think? Rant, rave, and review please! Also, I'm curious: Do you consider this a tragic ending or a happy ending? Why? Do you think I should write the story of what happens after No? I've got an idea or two if people agree that would be interesting to read. Tell me what you thought of No, the character as well as the story. Thank you for reading and thank you for existing! You're the best you I've ever heard of!**


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